Blog + Diamonds
VIDEO SUMMARY
Mastering Life's Challenges: Steps to Crush Negativity and Ignite Courage
Hey there, rockstar! 🌟
Feeling stuck in the same old rut? 😩
It happens to the best of us! But guess what? There’s a secret sauce to spice up your life and turn those “blah” moments into “heck yeah!” adventures. 🚀
Imagine this: trading in that daily dose of cynicism for a hefty serving of enthusiasm and courage. 🤩
Yeah, I’m talking about flipping the script on those negative vibes and embracing a mindset that screams, “Bring it on, world!” 🌎
So, what’s stopping you from unleashing your inner superhero? 💥
Is it fear of rejection? 😱
Or maybe just a sprinkle of self-doubt? 🤔
Well, guess what? You’ve got the power to overcome those obstacles and write your own success story. 💪
It’s time to swap those “what ifs” for “why nots” and dive headfirst into a pool of endless possibilities. 🏊♂️
Because let’s face it, life’s too short to be stuck in neutral. 🚗
Ready to kick some serious butt and make 2024 your year to shine? ✨
Then stay tuned, ’cause we’ve got a game plan that’ll knock your socks off! 🧦
#BringOnTheAdventure #EmbraceThePossibilities #YouGotThis
Step-by-Step
Step 1: Acknowledge and Address Cynicism
Description:
Recognize and confront any deep-seated pessimism and distrust within yourself, particularly towards others and opportunities.
Implementation:
- Reflect on past experiences where you’ve harbored negative feelings towards success or others’ achievements.
- Identify specific instances where cynicism has influenced your outlook or decisions.
- Engage in introspection to understand the root causes of your cynicism, which could stem from past disappointments or trust issues.
- Accept that cynicism is hindering your growth and potential, and commit to addressing it proactively.
Specific Details:
- Journaling can be helpful in exploring and processing feelings of cynicism.
- Seek support from a therapist or counselor if necessary to delve deeper into underlying issues and develop coping strategies.
- Practice mindfulness and self-awareness techniques to catch cynical thoughts as they arise and challenge them.
Step 2: Cultivate Optimism
Description:
Relearn optimism by intentionally focusing on possibilities and opportunities instead of dwelling on negativity.
Implementation:
- Challenge negative thoughts and beliefs by reframing them in a more positive light.
- Surround yourself with positive influences, such as supportive friends, inspirational literature, or motivational podcasts.
- Practice gratitude daily by acknowledging and appreciating the good things in your life, no matter how small.
- Set realistic yet hopeful goals for yourself, and celebrate even small victories along the way.
Specific Details:
- Keep a gratitude journal to jot down things you’re thankful for each day, fostering a habit of optimism.
- Visualize your desired future and imagine yourself achieving success, reinforcing a positive mindset.
- Engage in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment, boosting your overall mood and outlook on life.
Step 3: Challenge Envy
Description:
Address feelings of envy towards others’ success and accomplishments to prevent it from sabotaging your own potential.
Implementation:
- Practice empathy by putting yourself in others’ shoes and understanding their journey to success.
- Reframe envy as admiration and inspiration, recognizing that others’ achievements are attainable through hard work and dedication.
- Focus on your own progress and growth instead of comparing yourself to others, embracing a mindset of abundance rather than scarcity.
- Celebrate the successes of others genuinely, shifting your perspective from competition to collaboration.
Specific Details:
- Avoid social media comparisons, as they often exacerbate feelings of envy and inadequacy.
- Seek out role models who have overcome similar challenges or obstacles, drawing inspiration from their resilience and determination.
- Engage in acts of kindness and generosity towards others, fostering a sense of connection and goodwill.
Step 4: Address Unconscious Biases
Description:
Confront and challenge any unconscious biases or preconceptions you may hold towards individuals or groups, particularly regarding success and wealth.
Implementation:
- Acknowledge that biases and prejudices may influence your perceptions and attitudes towards others, including those who are wealthy or successful.
- Educate yourself on the harmful effects of stereotypes and discrimination, both personally and within society as a whole.
- Engage in meaningful conversations with individuals from diverse backgrounds to gain perspective and broaden your understanding.
- Challenge stereotypes and assumptions by actively seeking out counterexamples and alternative viewpoints.
Specific Details:
- Participate in diversity and inclusion workshops or seminars to explore and address unconscious biases in a structured setting.
- Practice empathy and open-mindedness when interacting with people who hold different beliefs or lifestyles from your own.
- Be mindful of language and avoid making sweeping generalizations about specific groups or communities.
Step 5: Seek Exposure to Success
Description:
Surround yourself with successful individuals to cultivate a mindset of growth and possibility.
Implementation:
- Network with people who have achieved the level of success you aspire to, whether through professional organizations, mentorship programs, or industry events.
- Attend workshops, conferences, or seminars led by successful entrepreneurs, leaders, or experts in your field of interest.
- Seek out role models and inspirational figures who embody the qualities and values you admire, learning from their experiences and insights.
- Be proactive in building relationships with successful peers, offering value and support in return for mentorship and guidance.
Specific Details:
- Utilize online platforms such as LinkedIn or professional networking groups to connect with individuals in your industry or niche.
- Volunteer or intern with organizations or companies where successful individuals are likely to be involved, providing opportunities for exposure and learning.
- Be respectful and genuine in your interactions, demonstrating your eagerness to learn and grow from others’ experiences.
Step 6: Challenge Cynical Thoughts
Description:
Counteract pessimistic and distrustful thinking patterns by actively cultivating optimism and possibility.
Implementation:
- Practice cognitive restructuring techniques to challenge negative thoughts and replace them with more positive and empowering beliefs.
- Surround yourself with positive influences and environments that reinforce a mindset of optimism and growth.
- Engage in activities that uplift and inspire you, such as hobbies, exercise, or creative pursuits.
- Seek support from friends, family, or mentors who can provide encouragement and perspective during challenging times.
Specific Details:
- Keep a journal to track your progress and reflect on moments of growth and positivity.
- Celebrate small victories and milestones along your journey, reinforcing a sense of accomplishment and momentum.
- Stay vigilant against cynical thoughts and actively replace them with more constructive and optimistic perspectives.
Step 7: Recognize Negative Thought Patterns
Description:
Identify and acknowledge any negative thought patterns or biases that influence your perceptions and attitudes towards yourself and others.
Implementation:
- Pay attention to your inner dialogue and notice when you catch yourself making negative or judgmental statements about individuals, especially those you don’t know personally.
- Reflect on the origins of these negative thoughts, considering past experiences, societal influences, and personal insecurities that may contribute to their persistence.
- Keep a journal or record of negative thoughts as they arise, noting the specific triggers and contexts in which they occur.
- Practice self-compassion and understanding, recognizing that negative thoughts are a natural part of the human experience but can be changed with conscious effort.
Specific Details:
- Set aside time for daily reflection and introspection to become more aware of your thought patterns and their impact on your emotions and behavior.
- Challenge negative thoughts by asking yourself if they are based on facts or assumptions, and consider alternative perspectives or interpretations.
- Seek feedback from trusted friends or mentors who can provide objective insights into your thought patterns and help you identify areas for growth.
Step 8: Cultivate Positive Affirmations
Description:
Replace negative thought patterns with positive affirmations and beliefs that promote self-esteem, optimism, and abundance.
Implementation:
- Identify areas of self-doubt or insecurity and create affirmations that directly counteract these negative beliefs with empowering and uplifting statements.
- Repeat affirmations daily, either verbally or in writing, to reinforce positive self-talk and reprogram your subconscious mind for success.
- Use visualization techniques to imagine yourself embodying the qualities and characteristics you aspire to, aligning your thoughts with your desired outcomes.
- Incorporate affirmations into your daily routine, such as reciting them during meditation, exercise, or moments of reflection.
Specific Details:
- Personalize affirmations to address specific challenges or goals you are working towards, tailoring them to resonate with your individual needs and aspirations.
- Write affirmations in the present tense and with conviction, expressing them as if they were already true to harness the power of positive thinking and manifestation.
- Create visual reminders of your affirmations, such as sticky notes, screensavers, or vision boards, to keep them top of mind throughout the day.
Step 9: Practice Self-Reflection and Growth
Description:
Commit to ongoing self-reflection and personal growth to maintain a positive mindset and overcome cynicism and envy.
Implementation:
- Set aside regular time for introspection and self-assessment, evaluating your progress and areas for improvement with honesty and compassion.
- Seek feedback from trusted mentors, peers, or professionals to gain perspective and insight into blind spots or areas of potential growth.
- Embrace challenges and setbacks as opportunities for learning and development, reframing them as temporary obstacles on the path to success.
- Cultivate a growth mindset by adopting a curious and open attitude towards new experiences, feedback, and opportunities for self-improvement.
Specific Details:
- Keep a journal or diary to document your personal journey and insights gained from self-reflection, allowing you to track your growth and celebrate milestones along the way.
- Participate in workshops, courses, or coaching programs that focus on personal development and mindset mastery, providing structured guidance and support for your growth journey.
- Surround yourself with positive influences and role models who inspire and uplift you, fostering a supportive environment for continued learning and self-discovery.
Step 10: Create Empowering Affirmations
Description:
Generate positive affirmations to motivate and uplift yourself and others, fostering a mindset of possibility and growth.
Implementation:
- Brainstorm a list of empowering statements that resonate with your values, goals, and aspirations, focusing on self-belief, resilience, and abundance.
- Craft affirmations in the present tense and with conviction, affirming your worthiness, capability, and potential for success.
- Repeat affirmations regularly, both to yourself and others, to reinforce positive self-talk and cultivate a mindset of optimism and possibility.
- Tailor affirmations to specific situations or challenges, adapting them to address areas of self-doubt or insecurity with compassion and encouragement.
Specific Details:
- Write down your affirmations on index cards or sticky notes and place them in prominent locations where you’ll see them daily, such as your desk, mirror, or refrigerator.
- Practice reciting affirmations aloud with confidence and conviction, embodying the qualities and beliefs they represent to internalize their positive impact.
- Share affirmations with friends, family, or colleagues to spread positivity and support, creating a culture of encouragement and empowerment in your social circles.
Step 11: Take Personal Responsibility
Description:
Accept accountability for your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, recognizing that you have the power to change and shape your reality through conscious choice and action.
Implementation:
- Reflect on past experiences and recognize the role you played in shaping your current mindset and beliefs, both consciously and unconsciously.
- Take ownership of your thoughts and emotions, refraining from blaming external circumstances or individuals for your current challenges or limitations.
- Embrace the principles of cognitive behavioral therapy, understanding that you can change your thoughts and perceptions to influence your emotions and behaviors positively.
- Commit to ongoing self-awareness and growth, seeking out opportunities for learning and development to enhance your personal resilience and well-being.
Specific Details:
- Practice mindfulness and self-reflection techniques to become more aware of your thought patterns and their impact on your emotions and behavior.
- Challenge negative or limiting beliefs by questioning their validity and exploring alternative perspectives or interpretations.
- Cultivate a growth mindset by embracing setbacks and failures as opportunities for learning and growth, rather than indicators of personal inadequacy or failure.
- Seek support from therapists, coaches, or mentors who can provide guidance and accountability as you navigate your journey of personal responsibility and growth.
Step 12: Embrace Cognitive Behavioral Techniques
Description:
Utilize cognitive behavioral techniques to actively reshape your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors, fostering a more positive and resilient mindset.
Implementation:
- Learn about the principles and techniques of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), including cognitive restructuring, thought challenging, and behavioral activation.
- Identify specific cognitive distortions or negative thought patterns that contribute to feelings of cynicism, envy, or distrust, such as black-and-white thinking or catastrophizing.
- Practice thought monitoring and journaling to track your thoughts and identify patterns of negativity or pessimism, allowing you to intervene and challenge them effectively.
- Engage in behavioral experiments and exposure tasks to test the validity of your negative beliefs and assumptions, gradually replacing them with more adaptive and realistic perspectives.
Specific Details:
- Use worksheets or online resources to guide your CBT practice, providing structured exercises and tools for identifying and challenging negative thoughts.
- Work with a qualified therapist or counselor who specializes in CBT to receive personalized guidance and support in implementing cognitive restructuring techniques.
- Be patient and persistent in your CBT practice, recognizing that change takes time and effort but is achievable with consistent practice and commitment.
Step 13: Challenge Cynical Beliefs
Description:
Confront and challenge cynical beliefs and attitudes that undermine your ability to trust and embrace opportunities for growth and success.
Implementation:
- Acknowledge when you find yourself doubting or dismissing others’ happiness, success, or well-being, recognizing that cynicism may be clouding your perspective.
- Question the validity of cynical beliefs by considering alternative explanations or evidence that contradict your initial assumptions or judgments.
- Cultivate empathy and open-mindedness by seeking to understand the experiences and perspectives of others, especially those who challenge your preconceived notions.
- Practice gratitude and appreciation for the diversity and richness of human experience, recognizing that happiness, wealth, and health manifest in myriad ways.
Specific Details:
- Keep a journal or record of cynical thoughts or beliefs as they arise, allowing you to analyze and challenge them with rational and compassionate inquiry.
- Engage in conversations with individuals from diverse backgrounds and life experiences, fostering empathy and understanding through active listening and genuine curiosity.
- Explore personal anecdotes or examples of individuals who defy cynical stereotypes, demonstrating that happiness, success, and well-being are attainable by anyone, regardless of their circumstances.
Step 14: Cultivate Trust and Openness
Description:
Foster trust and openness towards others, recognizing that cynicism and distrust can hinder your ability to form meaningful connections and capitalize on opportunities for growth.
Implementation:
- Reflect on past experiences and identify any patterns of distrust or skepticism that may be holding you back from embracing new possibilities or relationships.
- Challenge yourself to approach interactions and situations with an attitude of trust and openness, giving others the benefit of the doubt until proven otherwise.
- Practice active listening and empathy in your communications with others, seeking to understand their perspectives and motivations without judgment or prejudice.
- Cultivate a sense of gratitude and appreciation for the contributions and support of others, recognizing the value of collaboration and mutual respect in achieving shared goals.
Specific Details:
- Set realistic expectations for yourself and others, acknowledging that trust is built over time through consistent actions and communication.
- Be vulnerable and authentic in your interactions, sharing your thoughts, feelings, and experiences openly to foster deeper connections and mutual understanding.
- Prioritize transparency and integrity in your dealings with others, demonstrating reliability and honesty in your words and actions.
- Celebrate moments of trust and connection, reinforcing positive experiences and relationships that contribute to your overall sense of well-being and fulfillment.
Step 15: Practice Gratitude and Appreciation
Description:
Cultivate a mindset of gratitude and appreciation for the abundance and diversity of life, counteracting cynicism and envy with a focus on positivity and abundance.
Implementation:
- Start each day with a gratitude practice, reflecting on three things you are thankful for, whether big or small, to cultivate a sense of appreciation and abundance.
- Keep a gratitude journal or diary to record daily moments of joy, beauty, and connection, allowing you to savor and revisit positive experiences over time.
- Express gratitude openly and authentically to others, acknowledging their contributions and support with sincerity and warmth.
- Shift your focus from what you lack to what you have, reframing challenges as opportunities for growth and learning, rather than sources of frustration or resentment.
Specific Details:
- Incorporate gratitude into your daily routine, such as before meals, bedtime, or during moments of reflection, to reinforce a habit of appreciation and mindfulness.
- Practice self-compassion and gratitude for your own strengths, accomplishments, and resilience, recognizing the value and worthiness within yourself.
- Seek out opportunities to give back and contribute to others, whether through acts of kindness, volunteer work, or charitable donations, fostering a sense of interconnectedness and purpose.
- Surround yourself with positive influences and environments that uplift and inspire you, nurturing a sense of gratitude and abundance in all areas of your life. This concludes the step-by-step guide for overcoming cynicism and envy. If you have any further questions or need additional guidance, feel free to ask!
Step 16: Cultivate Enthusiasm
Description:
Nurture a sense of enthusiasm and passion for problem-solving, growth, and success, counteracting cynicism and envy with a proactive and optimistic mindset.
Implementation:
- Recognize the value of enthusiasm in driving action and overcoming obstacles, viewing challenges as opportunities for growth and learning.
- Identify activities, projects, or goals that ignite your passion and excitement, aligning your efforts with pursuits that energize and inspire you.
- Practice daily affirmations or visualizations to cultivate a positive and enthusiastic mindset, reinforcing your belief in your abilities and potential for success.
- Surround yourself with supportive and uplifting influences that fuel your enthusiasm and optimism, seeking out mentors, peers, or role models who embody the qualities you aspire to.
Specific Details:
- Start each day with a motivational routine that energizes and uplifts you, whether through exercise, meditation, inspirational reading, or listening to motivational podcasts or music.
- Set specific, achievable goals that excite and challenge you, breaking them down into actionable steps to maintain momentum and focus.
- Celebrate small victories and progress toward your goals, acknowledging and reinforcing the positive impact of your enthusiasm and efforts.
- Share your enthusiasm and passion with others, inspiring and motivating them to pursue their own goals and dreams with vigor and determination.
Step 17: Embrace Courage
Description:
Embrace courage as a guiding principle for taking bold action, pursuing your aspirations, and overcoming fears and self-doubt that may hold you back from achieving your full potential.
Implementation:
- Reflect on areas of your life where fear or hesitation may be limiting your growth or progress, identifying specific actions or decisions that require courage to pursue.
- Commit to stepping outside of your comfort zone regularly, challenging yourself to confront and overcome fears or obstacles that stand in the way of your goals.
- Practice self-compassion and resilience in the face of setbacks or failures, recognizing that courage is not the absence of fear but the willingness to act in spite of it.
- Seek support and encouragement from trusted friends, family members, or mentors who can provide guidance and reassurance as you navigate unfamiliar or challenging territory.
Specific Details:
- Create a courage list outlining specific actions or goals that require bravery or boldness to accomplish, prioritizing them based on their potential impact and significance in your life.
- Break down daunting tasks or challenges into smaller, manageable steps, gradually building your confidence and resilience as you make progress toward your objectives.
- Visualize success and positive outcomes as you confront fears or uncertainties, envisioning yourself overcoming obstacles and achieving your desired outcomes with courage and determination.
- Practice self-affirmations and positive self-talk to bolster your confidence and self-belief, reinforcing your capacity to handle adversity and pursue your goals with courage and conviction.
Step 18: Understanding the Nature of Rejection
Description:
This step involves recognizing that rejection is a natural part of life, especially in sales or pursuing goals. Accept that rejection and judgment are inevitable but manageable.
Implementation:
- Acknowledge that rejection is a common experience faced by everyone, including the most successful individuals.
- Understand that rejection does not define your worth or abilities; it’s simply a part of the process.
- Embrace the idea that rejection is a numbers game – for every rejection, there’s a possibility of acceptance.
Specific Details:
- Recognize that even the greatest salespeople face rejection, but they persist because they understand the odds.
- Internalize the notion that rejection is not personal; it’s about the circumstances or preferences of the other party.
- Cultivate a mindset that views rejection as a stepping stone toward success rather than a roadblock.
Step 19: Maintaining Persistence Despite Rejection
Description:
This step involves maintaining persistence and resilience in the face of rejection, understanding that success often requires perseverance.
Implementation:
- Continuously knock on doors and pursue opportunities, despite facing rejection.
- Accept the likelihood of hearing “no” many times before receiving a “yes.”
- Seek encouragement from those who support your efforts and understand the importance of persistence.
Specific Details:
- Understand that persistence is a key trait of successful individuals; they keep going even when faced with obstacles.
- Internalize the idea that each rejection brings you closer to a potential success.
- Surround yourself with supportive individuals who can provide encouragement and perspective during challenging times.
Step 20: Recognizing and Overcoming the “Defeat Mind”
Description:
This step involves identifying and overcoming the negative mindset associated with defeat, shifting focus towards possibilities and solutions.
Implementation:
- Acknowledge when the “defeat mind” is influencing your thoughts and actions.
- Reframe negative thoughts by focusing on possibilities and solutions.
- Cultivate a “possibility mind” that seeks opportunities and steps forward, despite setbacks.
Specific Details:
- Develop self-awareness to recognize when the “defeat mind” is active, such as self-doubt or negative self-talk.
- Practice reframing negative thoughts by asking questions like, “What is possible?” and “What steps can I take?”
- Actively choose to listen to the “possibility mind” over the “defeat mind” to maintain momentum and resilience.
Step 21: Utilizing External Motivators and Affirmations
Description:
This step involves leveraging external motivators and affirmations to reinforce a positive mindset and combat defeatist thoughts.
Implementation:
- Surround yourself with motivational quotes, affirmations, or reminders of past successes.
- Seek out environments or communities that foster positivity and encouragement.
- Utilize physical cues or rituals, such as the “Not Today Satan” note, to counteract negative thoughts.
Specific Details:
- Place motivational quotes or affirmations in visible areas to serve as reminders of your capabilities and resilience.
- Engage with supportive communities or groups that uplift and inspire you during challenging times.
- Create personalized rituals or cues, like the “Not Today Satan” note, to symbolize your commitment to overcoming negativity and embracing courage.
COMPREHENSIVE CONTENT
Overcoming Cynicism and Envy
Cynics, they think you’re going to fail and they think you’re a bad person. You got to go back and do the mental work to teach yourself to recognize the possibility to have optimism again. If you have high distrust, I want you not to be shocked by a low bank account. It takes a lot of trust of others to build real wealth. Things happened and they sucked. We didn’t want it. It wasn’t okay. But we don’t get to blame it for our current trust issues.
Cynicism is the number one reason that people who do have opportunity fail to draw from it. Envy and cynicism, I can tell you why you won’t be wealthy. It’s the easiest thing. I told you the number one distinction I’ve learned in 17 years: see possibility. They see possibility. This is why you’ll lose the money or you won’t chase the money in a healthy way, as we’ll talk about. It’s the two killers. It just will absolutely destroy you. And here’s the truth: most people have been so destroyed by these top two things they don’t realize the freedom of the bottom to.
For those watching and can’t see the slide behind me, it says envy and cynicism. I want to start there, envy and cynicism. See, if your drive, if your mental look is to see other people of success and envy them, like envy it, like want it for yourself but feel bad that they have it, that’s envy. Like, I want it for myself but they shouldn’t have it. And then you add cynicism. What cynicism means is it basically is a deep pessimism and distrust. Cynicism means deep pessimism and distrust. So watch how these two combine to kill all of your motivation, all of your drive, all of your chances. And I want to let you know, most people have these in spades. They don’t realize how deep it is. They have envy, and you’ll know if you ever had envy if you said, “Oh, those rich people.” I was with a group recently, and somebody said that she didn’t know that two of us were of high means, if you will, materialistically. I mean, I generally mean it. We were at this lunch, she didn’t know, and she goes, “All these rich people right now.” And I just said, “Where does that come from, all those rich people?” So, wait a minute, all those rich people, what are her chances of ever finding wealth ever? See, the body and the mind, the spirit won’t go after something that you despise. ‘Cause remember the first point of congruence, your body, your mind, your brain, your spirit, you will not go after something you despise. So if your parents taught you to despise those rich people, you won’t do the work. You won’t accumulate. If you accumulate, you will spend, spend, spend because your unconscious says, “I don’t want to be one of those rich people.” Often I tell people, if you find yourself saying that, and by the way, I had said that before I learned I needed to get around successful people, I was saying, “All those rich people,” like other people say, “All those ethnicities.” It’s usually a general lack of awareness and sitting with people like that. That’s where our diversity struggles usually come from. It’s immediate biases and blocks that we have, and we’ve never even sat with a person like that, and we’re just judging them. We’re just hating on them. We’re just coming from some unconscious feeling about them that we don’t even know that.
Addressing Envy and Cynicism in Society
Was me with successful people. It’s one reason I made sure I was like, “I got to, I got to get around successful people. I don’t know any. I don’t know anyone working as hard as I want to work to achieve the things I want to achieve, to serve at the levels I want. I got to get around those people. I got to figure it out.” So envy often sounds like, “All those rich people, they shouldn’t have it. They’re bad, all of them are bad, and rich is bad.” Could you imagine? So, check yourself. A lot of wealthy people employ like 80% of the US. So if you like jobs, you probably like wealthy people. Do you like jobs? You like wealthy people. It’s really a weird mindset.
Something happened and shifted in the United States where having wealth was bad, and I want to share that with you. It’s because often cynicism took hold of us from the media. Cynicism, deep pessimism and distrust. And this is rampant in our culture now. It’s like cynicism is so, you know, it’s rampant. I don’t know how to describe it. It’s like, it’s like a poison right now. People are drowning in pools of pessimism. They’re constantly thinking everything’s bad, everything’s negative. The cynicism wheel, nothing’s going to get good. And the pessimism is so deep. And sometimes you have it in your heart. You’re pessimistic. You don’t believe your spouse can change.
Effects of Cynicism on Relationships and Business
And even if they say they can change, the cynicism kicks in. “I don’t trust you, and you’re going to do mean things. I don’t trust you, you’re going to do mean things. It’s going to turn out bad. I don’t trust you, you’re going to do mean things. It’s going to turn out bad.” And this wheel goes on in our relationships, and in our culture, in our businesses. I know a lot of business owners who went broke because they got on that wheel. They spiraled out. They worked equally hard, but mentally, they spiraled out of the business. They didn’t believe in the business anymore. They didn’t believe in their team anymore. They started distrusting their team, being mean to their team. They started detaching. They were still working hard, but they were pulling away because cynicism was starting to poison it. It corroded them even though they showed up and did the work.
Some of you, you’re showing up and doing the work, but you lost trust in possibility. So you’re not whistling while you’re work, you’re corroded while you’re work, you’re angry while you’re work. “Why do I have to do this? Forget these people. They don’t work as hard as me. It’s not going to turn out anymore, any good anyway.” And this happens in people’s lives, and they’re not aware of it. So I hope that just talking about it, if you recognize any of these thoughts, you need to do some deep work. You need a life coach, you need a therapist. You’ve got to read Norman Vincent Peale 17 times. You’ve got to go back and do the mental work to teach yourself to recognize the possibility to have optimism again.
Did you know there’s a high correlation between optimists and higher income levels? Did you know optimists also live longer? That’s an actual truth, by the way. Some people are like, “I don’t know, that’s actually real.” If you can see the good in the future, if you can see the good in others, because you know what, cynics, they think you’re going to fail, and they think you’re a bad person. In the modern world, we call that Twitter. I thought it was funny too. It’s like, “Oh, everybody’s bad.”
Overcoming Cynicism and Cultivating Positivity
Everybody, like listen, I wish you could hang out with me. I wish we could go. There’s a mall somewhere. I wish we go to the mall and walk. I walk by people, strangers all the time, and my mind literally, I trained myself to do this because I recognized I was cynical after grad school. Because in grad school, they taught you to be smart and academically decisive and recognize distinctions. And once you recognize distinctions and you’re smart, you know what you do? You start cutting people apart with your logic because you’re logical and they’re illogical. And there’s only that choice. Their logic doesn’t make sense, mine does. They’re stupid and they have bad intent. That’s what we start doing. And I recognized, I, you ever hear yourself say something negative about a person you don’t even know? And you’re like, “Whoa, where did that come from?” And you’re like, “Was that what I ate last night? What? How? Why am I?” And I recognized I was saying weird stuff. And the reason was is because I was so broke in this fancy, amazing city, and I got bitter about it. Now, bitterness is a doctor messed up word for envy and cynicism. It’s just easier to say, and people can justify their bitterness. If you say envy, “Oh, I’m not envious.” If you say cynicism, “Uh-uh.” But I recognized I started judging people. So I said, “I need to turn this around.” I read my Norman Vincent Peale, and I was like, “Okay, ‘The Tough-Minded Optimist.’ If you want a recommendation, ‘The Tough-Minded Optimist.'” By the way, I know a lot of you have learned from personal development like I have, Dale Carnegie and Napoleon Hill, Zig Ziglar, Jim Rohn, Earl Nightingale, Louise Hay, Wayne Dyer. Oh my gosh, come on, you ready? Those people changed my life. But so did Alfred Adler, Carl Rogers, anyone? Abraham Maslow? Okay, okay, we got some humanist psychologists in the room. Thank you. Okay, Albert Bandura? Anyone? Okay, so the psychologist list, but yeah, those were huge for me too. But they taught me my thoughts will dictate my life. Yeah. And so I have to be careful. And what I learned was my thoughts were often negative towards other people for no reason. And I were also negative to myself for no reason. And the reason I said I would love for you to hang out with me one day is because if you and I are walking in public, there’s something happening in my mind. And what’s happening in my mind is I’m saying, “I wish you joy, health, love, and abundance. I wish you joy, health, love, and abundance.” I say it all the time. I’m walking down there, I’m standing in Starbucks, I’m watching somebody, they’re walking by, my mind’s saying, “I wish you.”
Cultivating Positive Thoughts and Overcoming Cynicism
Joy, health, love, and abundance, it just sang in my mind. It’s like it happens so fast now. It’s happened so many millions of times in my head that if you believe in the Law of Attraction, well, there you go. I don’t know, it just, I say it all the time.
But I had to take control of my cynical mind and input the thoughts. Raise your hand if you follow. Now, some of you did that when you got into personal development, but you haven’t been architecting those thoughts recently. You’ve been consuming information, but it’s derailing you. When you first got into personal development, you had affirmation cards nearby, you had things on the mirror to yourself, you wrote down some quotes, installed the thoughts, and put it on the fridge. You had it underlined, you read it several times, you memorized it. Remember memorization? We used to, anyone? No? Okay, yeah, we don’t do that anymore. And I mean, how many got into personal development like a real dork? Come on, out there, I know, like, okay, that’s good. So you got into it. I want you to get back into that part where you installed the thoughts, not just analyzed the thoughts.
Our culture went whoop into analyzation. Oh, she must have those thoughts because of her childhood, because of where she grew up, because of her culture, because, and we go 70 rounds trying to explain her bad thoughts versus going, “Hey, babe, this is better. You can install the thoughts up here.” I’m not saying you shouldn’t analyze them. Personal growth is about self-reflection and self-awareness first, self-acceptance second, self-accountability third, and action fourth. It’s like the gates to change. It’s always the same. If you’re ever wondering, “Why can’t I change my life?” I’m like, “You didn’t walk through the gates yet.” The gates are awareness, acceptance, accountability, and action. If you’ve studied my work before, hopefully, you know that. If you haven’t, take Transformation Week in Growth Day: awareness, acceptance, accountability, and action.
For a lot of people, they have the awareness, they’ve analyzed themselves 70 times. I mean, you know your Myers-Briggs and your enneagrams and your healing cards and your mystic rivers and all, I mean, you know all these things. I’m like, “That’s amazing. What are the five thoughts you should have that would help you dominate and win the week and serve at your highest levels? What are those thoughts? Tell me those right now. I can explain myself.” Okay, can you manifest yourself? Two different things, two different things. A lot of people can explain themselves, explain their story, explain where they came from. They’ll tell you all day long at lunch why their life sucks and all the things that happened to them. “That’s my parents, and this person, and there’s a hole.” And you’re like, “Yo, what are five things you could say to yourself to fire yourself up to win? What are five things you could say to other people to make them feel seen, heard, appreciated, loved?” Stop trying to explain why your marriage is the way it is. Put the new thoughts and the new behaviors in and give that a whirl, baby. Give it a whirl. Oh my gosh, it’s so important.
The cynicism, if you have high distrust, I want you not to be shocked by a low bank account. If you have high distrust, I want you not to be shocked by a low bank account. It takes a lot of trust of others to build real wealth. It takes a lot of trust of others to love other people, and no one unlocks the trust but you. You’re the only one. You can’t blame anyone. Please listen closely. And this is where I differentiate as a coach versus a therapist. I’m not a therapist, I train them, but I’m not one. This is a big differentiator. I want to tell you this. You don’t get to blame anyone for your trust issues. Things happened and they sucked. We didn’t want it. It wasn’t okay. But we don’t get to blame it for our current trust issues. We can understand it by saying these incidences happened, and I applied this meaning, but if I keep only blaming that and I don’t take some personal responsibility to now ask, “How do I want to feel and think and behave now?”
The most efficacious study in all of therapy that’s ever been done is called cognitive behavioral therapy. It is rooted in a very simple idea: you can change your thoughts and the meaning you apply to things in real time, and that will change your emotions and your reality. It’s a deep science and probably the most studied therapy of all time. Now, it’s very clear, you’ve got to get a hold of your thoughts. And I want you to not blame people and just go, “I’m here today. Let me put some new stuff up here.” If I, when I was going through that pivotal time in my life right before my car accident, some of you know I was suicidal. And when I was suicidal, if that shift hadn’t happened with that car accident, where I said, “I don’t know how to be happy. I need to learn to be happy,” before that, I was cynical. “All these happy people, they’re so fake.” Who said it? Be honest, anyone? Oh, those happy, oh, Brennan, he’s so fake. He’s not that happy. Let me talk to his mom. And then you find out mom’s happier than me, suckers. Oh, she’s good. And that’s what we do, though. Oh, those happy people must be fake. Oh, those healthy people, they must all be on steroids or something. You just tell yourself, you’re immediately cynical. You don’t believe they could be that happy, that wealthy, that happy, that healthy. And so that disbelief, boom, you anchor down. You stop.
Cynicism is the number one reason that people who do have opportunity fail to draw from it. They just have distrust. And so therapists are right, your trust issues are wrecking your life. So figure out what those are. You got to trust your team. You got to trust opportunities. It’s hard. Will some people screw you? Yes or no? Yeah, some people will. But not all those people. That’s right, right? She say all those people, you’re being.
Cultivating Enthusiasm and Courage
Joy, health, love, and abundance, it just sang in my mind. It happens so fast now. It’s happened so many millions of times in my head that if you believe in the Law of Attraction, well, there you go. I don’t know, I just say it all the time. But I had to take control of my cynical mind and input the thoughts. Raise your hand if you follow. Now, some of you did that when you got into personal development, but you haven’t been architecting those thoughts recently. You’ve been consuming information, but it’s derailing you. When you first got into personal development, you had affirmation cards nearby. You had things on the mirror to yourself. You wrote down some quotes, installing the thoughts, and put it on the fridge. You had it underlined. You’d read it several times. You memorized it. Remember memorization? We used to. Anyone? No? Okay, yeah, we don’t do that anymore. And I mean, how many got into personal development like a real dork? Come on out there. I know, like, okay, that’s good. So, you got into it. I want you to get back into that part where you installed the thoughts, not just analyzed the thoughts. Our culture went whoop into analyzation. “Oh, she must have those thoughts because of her childhood, because of where she grew up, because of her culture.” And we go 70 rounds trying to explain her bad thoughts versus going, “Hey, babe, this is better. You can install the thoughts up here.” I’m not saying you shouldn’t analyze them. Personal growth is about self-reflection and self-awareness first, self-acceptance second, self-accountability third, and action fourth. It’s like the gates to change. It’s always the same. If you’re ever wondering, “Why can’t I change my life?” I’m like, “You didn’t walk through the gates yet.” The gates are awareness, acceptance, accountability, and action. If you’ve studied my work before, hopefully you know that. If you haven’t, take Transformation Week in Growth Day: awareness, acceptance, accountability, and action. For a lot of people, they have the awareness. They’ve analyzed themselves 70—I mean, you know your Myers-Briggs and your enneagrams and your healing cards and your mystic rivers and all—I mean, you know all these things. I’m like, “That’s amazing. What are the five thoughts you should have that would help you dominate and win the week and serve at your highest levels? What are those thoughts? Tell me.” Those, right? I can explain myself. Okay. Can you manifest yourself? Two different things, two different things. A lot of people can explain themselves, explain their story, explain where they came from. They’ll tell you all day long at lunch why their life sucks and all the things that happened to them. And that’s my parents and this person and there’s a hole. And you’re like, “Yo, what are five things you could say to yourself to fire yourself up to win? What are five things you could say to other people to make them feel seen, heard, appreciated, loved?” Stop trying to explain why your marriage is the way it is. Put the new thoughts and the new behaviors in and give that a whirl, baby. Give it a whirl. Oh my gosh, it’s so important. The cynicism. If you have high distrust, I want you not to be shocked by a low bank account. If you have high distrust, I want you not to be shocked by a low bank account. It takes a lot of trust of others to build real wealth. It takes a lot of trust of others to love other people. And no one unlocks the trust but you. You’re the only one. You can’t blame anyone. Please listen closely. And this is where I differentiate as a coach versus a therapist. I’m not a therapist. I train them, but I’m not one. This is a big differentiator. I want to tell you this. You don’t get to blame anyone for your trust issues. Things happened, and they sucked. We didn’t want it. It wasn’t okay. But we don’t get to blame it for our current trust issues. We can understand it by saying these incidents happened, and I applied this meaning. But if I keep only blaming that, and I don’t take some personal responsibility to now ask how do I want to feel and think and behave now. The most efficacious study in all of therapy that’s ever been done is called cognitive behavioral therapy. It is rooted in a very simple idea: you can change your thoughts and the meaning you apply to things in real time, and that change your thoughts will change your emotions and your reality. It’s a deep science and probably the most studied therapy of all time. Now, it’s very clear. You’ve got to get a hold of your thoughts. And I want you to not blame people and just go, “I’m here today. Let me put some new stuff up here.” If when I was going through that pivotal time in my life right before my car accident, some of you know I was suicidal. And when I was suicidal, if that shift hadn’t happened with that car accident where I said, “I don’t know how to be happy. I need to learn to be happy,” before that, I was cynical. All these happy people, they’re so fake. Who said it? Be honest. Anyone ever? “Oh, those happy—oh, Brené, he’s so fake. He’s not that happy. Let me talk to his mom.” And then you find out mom’s happier than me. Suckers. Oh, she’s good. And that’s what we do, though. Oh, those happy people must be fake. Oh, those healthy people, they must all be on steroids or something. You just tell yourself. You’re immediately cynical. You don’t believe they could be that happy, that wealthy, that happy, that healthy. And so that disbelief, boom, you anchor down. You stop. Cynicism is the number one reason that people who do have opportunity fail to draw from it. They just have distrust. And so therapists are right. Your trust issues are wrecking your life. So figure out what those are. You got to trust your team. You got to trust opportunities. It’s hard. Will some people screw you? Yes or no? Yeah, some people will. But not all those people. That’s right. Right? She say, “All those people.” You’re being racist. I thought it was funny, too. Don’t divide yourself. Ever. Those people. Soon, don’t divide yourself. You say, “Those,” you’ve created an us versus them. You’ve pushed them away, and you’ve categorized in such a way you’re shutting yourself down from a bigger picture. You’ve got to keep yourself
open to a bigger picture. There’s extraordinary people from all walks of life and in your own hometowns. And most of you, if you’ve studied my work before, the truth is, most of you in a room like this, you’ve already met. You’ve already met a millionaire who could open some doors, who could mentor you, who could show you. And if you don’t believe that, one in 10 Americans today are millionaires. One in 10. So, for 10 people you met, one was probably a very wealthy person. And I’m not saying you got to go ask them for mentorship or all these favors. What I’m suggesting is there is more opportunity than just millionaires. Wealthy people, it’s probably three out of 10. And it’s hard to understand that when you’re stuck. Now, again, I know I’m talking to a different group here, but I also recognize that this will be recorded, and I’ll be sharing it in the future to Growth Day members. And listen, we all struggle. I want you to know if the struggle is coming from up here with distrust and envy, because you know what? I can also predict if you’re going to break through. Because who breaks through? That bottom part of that slide. Enthusiasm and encouragement. Enthusiasm and courage. When you’ve got enthusiasm, when it’s in there. See, here’s the thing. Wealthy people, they have enthusiasm to solve problems. They have enthusiasm to build teams. They have enthusiasm to do the thing. That enthusiasm shows up and shows up and shows up and shows up and shows up. Not envy. Envy stops you. Enthusiasm says, “I want to go out and do this thing.” Wealthy people want to go out and do the thing. Everyone say, “Do the thing.” Do the thing. You got to want to go out and do the thing. Now, remember, you might have to fire yourself up to do that. You got to look at the battle board in the morning and turn on. It’s like, you might have to have some growth practices that help you turn that enthusiasm on if it’s not natural for you. That’s right. But you got to do the work. The second piece of there is courage. Oh, I want you to have a courageous 2024. Who’s ready for a courageous 2024? So, write it down. What would demonstrate courage for you in 2024, in the next 12 months? As I’m talking, just be thinking about it. What would demonstrate courage in your life? What would be a show of courage? Is it trying a new business? Is it doubling down on something that’s working? Is it joining a group? Is it asking for a promotion? Is it moving? Is it starting your own video? Is it turning on the camera, getting in front of the stage? Is it raising your hand, asking for help? What is it for you? I always tell people, a lot of people have a gratitude list, but they don’t have a courage list. And they wonder why they’re stuck. I’m like, “Oh, you know, if you’ve studied me in Growth Day, you’ve heard me teach this. I never want you to finish Friday, one of our Friday finishers, we call it, don’t finish Friday without making a bold ask. Every week, I want you to make a bold ask. I learned this from wealthy people. The stuff they ask for is unbelievable. You’re like, ‘Man.’ But guess what? Everyone judges them for that. They’re bold. They’re asking for you to work overtime. They’re bold. They’re asking for people to give them loans. They’re bold. They’re asking people to join their startup when they don’t know what’s going to happen. They’re bold. They’re asking for a favor from their neighbor to mentor them. They’re bold. And we think, ‘Oh, they’re so bold. It’s so inappropriate.’ And I’m like, and I’m over here asking for three months free rent. See, you’re asking for something. What you ask for from the universe, is it at the levels that you want to play at? Yet, some people, what they keep asking for lacks courage. Their asks are too small for the fate they’re dreaming of. Their asks are too small for the fate or the destiny they dream of. Their asks are just so simplistic. And by the way, that’s a make the asks, but also have that courage list. Also have that courage list. I want you to have that list, appreciation list, or gratitude list, but also that boldness or that courage list. Wealthy people, I’m telling you, they ask. It stuns me. They’ll walk in the bank confidently and ask for a loan, and they’re just starting. They just do that stuff. And you’re like, ‘Whoa.’ You know, I was with the startup recently. They just announced that they raised $7 million. I was sitting down with these guys, and the guy looked at me. Like, literally, he has an idea. He’s like, ‘Brendon, I know you’re going to be so happy if you contribute. I’d like to open a million dollars up for you to invest right now.’ I was like, ‘Yeah, I love that boldness. I ain’t giving it to you, but I love that boldness. Not my lane, but let me connect you with some people in my lane.’ I love it. Go ask. Why aren’t you asking for more? See, you got disappointed in your teenage years. Why aren’t you asking for more? You got discouraged in your 20s. Why aren’t you asking for more? She already said no. He already said no. Why aren’t you asking for more? Because it’s scary. You don’t ask for more because you might get turned down. We hate rejection. We hate to be judged. But guess what? The greatest salespeople in the world, they know you got to knock on more doors. And you’re going to knock on a thousand doors. They’re going to say no. A hundred are going to say yes. And that’s just the odds. You got to deal with it. Right? When I put my first stuff up on the internet, it was like, no one bought. No one bought. No one bought. It was like, why are only one out of a thousand buying? Then someone said, pretty good. I really? Oh, okay. Keep going. I said, really? Yeah, keep going. Some of the best answers you ever get encourage us, keep going. But keep expecting. Seeing that possibility. You know, when you’re defeated, we can talk about that later. Know when you’re defeated. Know when that defeat mind is going on. I literally call it that for myself. I’m like, oh, that’s the defeat mind. Defeat mind is talking to me right now. I don’t need defeat mind to talk to me, because defeat mind doesn’t solve anything. Defeat mind stops me. Defeat mind hurts me. What I need to learn to do is I need to turn on the possibility mind. Okay, what is possible? What can I do? What steps can I make? And
