Most Leaders Don’t Even Know the Game They’re In | Simon Sinek

👣 14 Innovative Steps: From Content To Conversion!

VIDEO SUMMARY​

Cracking the Code of Leadership: Key Steps to Empowerment and Growth

Hey there, fellow adventurers! 🌟

Have you ever felt like you’re navigating life’s highway without a GPS? 🛣️

Well, buckle up because I’ve got something that’ll blow your mind! 🤯

We’re diving deep into the secrets of success, leadership, and human connection, and let me tell you, it’s one heck of a rollercoaster ride! 🎢

Imagine this: you’re cruising through your career, thinking you’ve got it all figured out, when suddenly… BAM! 💥

Reality hits you like a ton of bricks. Turns out, there’s a whole world of trust, cooperation, and empathy waiting to be explored! 🤝

But don’t worry, we’ve got the roadmap to help you navigate through it all. 🔑

From decoding the mysteries of great leadership to understanding the hidden forces shaping our behavior, we’re delving into it all. 💼

So, if you’re ready to level up your game and unlock your full potential, hop on board and let’s embark on this epic journey together! 🌟

Don’t miss out on the adventure of a lifetime – your future self will thank you! 🚀

#UnlockYourPotential #LeadershipJourney #TrustAndCooperation

Step-by-Step Guide

Step 1: Understanding the Demand for Leadership

Description:

Recognize the demand for leadership despite its intangibility in organizational structures.

Implementation:

  1. Acknowledge the presence of demand for leadership, indicating an opportunity for improvement within organizations.
  2. Understand that the absence of trust and cooperation indicates a gap in organizational effectiveness.

Specific Details:

  • Despite discussing concepts like trust and cooperation, leadership remains in demand, signifying its significance in organizational dynamics.
  • Acknowledge the opportunity to instill trust and cooperation within organizational structures as a means of enhancing effectiveness.

Step 2: Emphasizing Empathy and Perspective in Leadership

Description:

Highlight the importance of empathy and perspective as essential qualities for effective leadership.

Implementation:

  1. Understand that empathy and perspective are often overlooked but crucial aspects of leadership.
  2. Recognize that effective leaders prioritize taking care of their team members over personal status or position within the organization.

Specific Details:

  • Great leaders prioritize understanding and caring for those they lead, rather than focusing solely on their own status or position.
  • Emphasize the importance of empathy and perspective in fostering trust and cooperation within teams.

Step 3: Transitioning from Manager to Leader

Description:

Acknowledge the transition required from being a manager to becoming a leader responsible for others.

Implementation:

  1. Recognize that promotions often elevate individuals to managerial positions without adequate training in leadership.
  2. Understand that the transition from individual contributor to managerial role requires learning how to care for and lead a team.

Specific Details:

  • Many individuals receive promotions based on their performance in their current role without receiving adequate training in leadership.
  • Acknowledge the necessity of transitioning from being responsible for tasks to being responsible for guiding and supporting others in completing those tasks.

Step 4: Fostering a Culture of Care and Engagement

Description:

Understand the significance of creating a supportive environment for employees to thrive.

Implementation:

  1. Acknowledge the importance of genuine care and engagement in fostering a positive workplace culture.
  2. Recognize that the attitude and behavior of employees are influenced by the leadership and organizational environment.

Specific Details:

  • Emphasize the impact of employee engagement on the overall customer experience, as exemplified by the Four Seasons hotel.
  • Highlight the role of leadership in creating an environment where employees feel valued and empowered to be themselves.

Step 5: Importance of Leadership in Shaping Employee Experience

Description:

Recognize the pivotal role of leadership in shaping employee experiences and attitudes.

Implementation:

  1. Understand that the behavior and attitudes of employees are shaped by the leadership and culture within the organization.
  2. Acknowledge that leadership sets the tone for employee engagement and satisfaction.

Specific Details:

  • Leadership behavior influences employee morale and satisfaction levels, as evidenced by the contrasting experiences of Noah at the Four Seasons and Caesars Palace.
  • Emphasize the importance of creating an environment where employees feel valued and supported, leading to increased engagement and productivity.

Step 6: Practicing Empathy in Leadership

Description:

Understand the importance of empathy in leadership and its impact on employee performance.

Implementation:

  1. Recognize the necessity of practicing empathy in understanding and addressing employee needs and challenges.
  2. Understand that empathy involves genuine concern for the well-being of employees beyond their performance metrics.

Specific Details:

  • Empathy involves showing concern for employees as individuals, beyond their professional output.
  • Highlight the importance of empathetic leadership in addressing performance issues and supporting employees through personal challenges.

Step 7: Critiquing Parenting Strategies

Description:

Critique the parenting strategies that may contribute to a sense of entitlement and low self-esteem among Millennials.

Implementation:

  1. Understand the potential negative impact of constantly reinforcing feelings of specialness and entitlement during childhood.
  2. Recognize the adverse effects of awarding participation medals and undeserved accolades on self-esteem and work ethic.

Specific Details:

  • Acknowledge the potential consequences of praising children excessively and rewarding mediocrity, which may lead to a sense of entitlement and lowered self-esteem.
  • Critique the practice of awarding participation medals, which can devalue hard work and achievement and lead to embarrassment for recipients.

Step 8: Addressing Self-Esteem Issues

Description:

Recognize the impact of technology and social media on the self-esteem of Millennials.

Implementation:

  1. Understand the influence of social media and cell phone usage on dopamine release and its impact on self-esteem.
  2. Acknowledge the role of technology in shaping perceptions of self-worth and social validation.

Specific Details:

  • Discuss the addictive nature of social media and cell phone usage, which can contribute to lower self-esteem and reliance on external validation.
  • Highlight the role of dopamine release in reinforcing behaviors associated with social media engagement and its impact on self-image.

Step 9: Practicing Empathy in Leadership

Description:

Understand the importance of empathy in addressing the challenges faced by Millennials.

Implementation:

  1. Recognize the need for empathy in understanding the struggles and insecurities faced by Millennials.
  2. Acknowledge the importance of creating a supportive environment that fosters open communication and trust.

Specific Details:

  • Empathize with the challenges faced by Millennials in navigating social pressures and technology addiction.
  • Emphasize the importance of providing support and guidance to help Millennials develop coping mechanisms and form meaningful relationships.

Step 10: Addressing Social Disconnection

Description:

Understand the consequences of social disconnection and its impact on mental health.

Implementation:

  1. Recognize the rise in depression, suicide, and substance abuse among Millennials due to social isolation and reliance on technology.
  2. Acknowledge the importance of meaningful human interaction in fostering joy and fulfillment.

Specific Details:

  • Discuss the adverse effects of social disconnection on mental health, including increased rates of depression and suicide.
  • Highlight the role of technology in replacing genuine human connection and its impact on emotional well-being.

Step 11: Understanding Impatience vs. Entitlement

Description:

Distinguish between impatience and entitlement as characteristic traits of Millennials.

Implementation:

  1. Understand that Millennials’ impatience stems from a culture of instant gratification facilitated by technology.
  2. Acknowledge that impatience manifests as a desire for instant fulfillment in various aspects of life, including career and relationships.

Specific Details:

  • Recognize that Millennials’ impatience is a result of growing up in an era of instant access to information and services.
  • Differentiate between impatience and entitlement, understanding that Millennials may seek immediate results but do not necessarily expect unwarranted privileges.

Step 12: Navigating Career Fulfillment

Description:

Acknowledge the misconception of career fulfillment as a destination rather than a journey.

Implementation:

  1. Understand that Millennials may struggle with the concept of career fulfillment as a continuous process rather than an instantaneous achievement.
  2. Address the importance of reframing perceptions of career success as a journey with ongoing growth and development.

Specific Details:

  • Recognize that Millennials may perceive career fulfillment as a destination rather than a journey, leading to unrealistic expectations and job dissatisfaction.
  • Emphasize the importance of embracing the journey of career development and finding meaning in the process rather than fixating on immediate results.

Step 13: Understanding Shareholder Supremacy

Description:

This step involves comprehending the concept of shareholder supremacy and its implications for businesses.

Implementation:

  1. Definition of Shareholder Supremacy: Understand that shareholder supremacy is a theory originating from the late 1970s and popularized in the 1980s and 1990s, which prioritizes maximizing shareholder value as the primary objective for companies.
  2. Comparison to Sports Analogy: Recognize the analogy presented, comparing shareholder supremacy to a coach prioritizing fans’ needs over players’ needs, highlighting the potential inefficiency of such a model in building a successful team.
  3. Identification of Current Business Norms: Acknowledge that maximizing shareholder value has become the standard practice for many public companies today.

Specific Details:

  • Shareholder supremacy prioritizes the financial interests of shareholders above other stakeholders, potentially neglecting the long-term sustainability and well-being of the business.
  • Understanding this concept involves recognizing its prevalence in corporate decision-making and its potential impact on organizational culture and behavior.

Description:

This step delves into the distinction between finite and infinite games within the context of business strategy.

Implementation:

  1. Definition of Finite and Infinite Games: Understand that finite games have known players, fixed rules, and a defined endpoint, while infinite games involve known and unknown players, changeable rules, and the objective of perpetuating the game.
  2. Examples of Finite Games: Recognize finite games such as baseball, where the winner is determined by fixed rules and agreed-upon objectives.
  3. Examples of Infinite Games: Identify infinite games like the game of business, where there is no agreed-upon endpoint, and players aim to perpetuate the game rather than win.
  4. Analysis of Business Language: Listen to the language used by companies, noting phrases like “trying to beat the competition” indicative of a finite game mindset.

Specific Details:

  • Finite games focus on short-term victories and beating competitors, while infinite games prioritize long-term sustainability and outlasting competition.
  • Companies like Southwest Airlines, Apple, and Costco exemplify infinite game players by focusing on long-term goals and customer satisfaction rather than short-term wins.
  • Understanding the game of business as an infinite contest allows leaders to organize resources and decision-making around perpetuating the game rather than winning individual battles.

Step 14: Understanding Finite and Infinite Games in Business

Description:

This step delves into the distinction between finite and infinite games within the context of business strategy.

Implementation:

  1. Definition of Finite and Infinite Games: Understand that finite games have known players, fixed rules, and a defined endpoint, while infinite games involve known and unknown players, changeable rules, and the objective of perpetuating the game.
  2. Examples of Finite Games: Recognize finite games such as baseball, where the winner is determined by fixed rules and agreed-upon objectives.
  3. Examples of Infinite Games: Identify infinite games like the game of business, where there is no agreed-upon endpoint, and players aim to perpetuate the game rather than win.
  4. Analysis of Business Language: Listen to the language used by companies, noting phrases like “trying to beat the competition” indicative of a finite game mindset.

Specific Details:

  • Finite games focus on short-term victories and beating competitors, while infinite games prioritize long-term sustainability and outlasting competition.
  • Companies like Southwest Airlines, Apple, and Costco exemplify infinite game players by focusing on long-term goals and customer satisfaction rather than short-term wins.
  • Understanding the game of business as an infinite contest allows leaders to organize resources and decision-making around perpetuating the game rather than winning individual battles.

COMPREHENSIVE CONTENT

Introduction

“So I’m embarrassed that I have a career. I talk about things like trust and cooperation and there should be no demand for my work. But the fact of the matter is there is demand for my work, which means that there’s an opportunity. It means that trust and cooperation are not yet standard in our organizations, and yet they should be. And we know that, which is why we’re looking for ways to bring those things to our organizations.”

Unique Approach

“So I thought I would do something a little different today. You know, when you’re speaking to tens of thousands of people and you have the opportunity to share a message, of course, most rational people would say, ‘Let’s go with something I’ve talked about lots of times and I’m really good at.’ But I’m not normal. So I’m gonna do something completely new, and I hope this works out.”

Leadership Qualities

“There are two things that I think that great leaders need to have: empathy and perspective. And I think these things are very often forgotten. Leaders are so often so concerned about their status of their position in organization they actually forget their real job. And the real job of a leader is not about being in charge, it’s about taking care of those in our charge. And I don’t think people realize this, and I don’t think people train for this.”

Transition to Leadership

“When we’re junior, our only responsibility is to be good at our jobs. That’s all we really have to do. And some people actually go get advanced education so that they can be really good at their jobs, accountants or whatever, right? And you show up and you work hard, and the company will give us tons and tons of training how to do our jobs. They’ll show us how to use the software, they’ll send us away for a few days to get trained in whatever it is that we’re doing for the company, and then they expect us to go be good at our jobs. And that’s what we do, we work very hard.”

Lack of Leadership Training

“And if you’re good at your job, they’ll promote you. And at some point, you’ll get promoted to a position where we’re now responsible for the people who do the job we used to do. But nobody shows us how to do that. And that’s why we get managers and not leaders. Because the reason our managers micromanage us is because they actually do know how to do the job better than us. That’s what got them promoted. Really what we have to do is go through a transition. Some people make it quickly, some people make it slowly, and unfortunately, some people will never make that transition at all.”

Importance of Leadership Development

“Which is we have to go through this transition of being responsible for the job and then turning it to somebody who’s now responsible for the people who are responsible for the job. And as I said before, one of the great things that is lacking in most of our companies is that they are not teaching us how to lead. And leadership is a skill like any other. It is a practice-able skill, and it is something that you work on. It’s like a muscle. If you practice it all the days, you will get good at it and you will become a strong leader. If you stop practicing, you will become a weak leader.”

Leadership Capacity

“Like parenting, everyone has the capacity to be a parent. Doesn’t mean everybody wants to be a parent, and doesn’t mean everybody shouldn’t be a parent. Leadership is the same. We all have the capacity to be a leader. Doesn’t mean everybody should be a leader, and it doesn’t mean everybody wants to be a leader. And the reason is because it comes at great personal sacrifice.”

Responsibilities of a Leader

“Remember, you’re not in charge, you’re responsible for those in your charge. That means things like when everything goes right, you have to give away all the credit, and when everything goes wrong, you have to take all the responsibility. That sucks, right? It’s things like staying late to show somebody what to do. It’s things like when something does actually break, when something goes wrong, instead of yelling and screaming and taking over, you say ‘try again.'”

True Leadership

“When the overwhelming pressures are not on them, the overwhelming pressures are on us. At the end of the day, great leaders are not responsible for the job, they’re responsible for the people who are responsible for the job. They’re not even responsible for the results. I love talking to CEOs and say, ‘What’s your priority?’ And they put their hands on their hips all proud and say, ‘My priority is my customer.’ I’m like, ‘Really? You haven’t even talked to a customer in 15 years.'”

Leadership Example: The Four Seasons Hotel

“There’s no CEO on the planet responsible for the customer. They’re just not. They’re responsible for the people who are responsible for the people who are responsible for the customer. I’ll tell you a true story. A few months ago, I stayed at the Four Seasons in Las Vegas. It is a wonderful hotel. And the reason it’s a wonderful hotel is not because of the fancy beds. Any hotel can go and buy a fancy bed. The reason it’s a wonderful hotel is because of the people who work there.”

Personal Experience

“If you walk past somebody at the Four Seasons and they say hello to you, you get the feeling that they actually wanted to say hello to you. It’s not that somebody told them that you have to say hello to all the customers, say hello to all the guests, right? You actually feel that they care. Now, in their lobby, they have a coffee stand. And one afternoon, I went to buy a cup of coffee, and there was a barista by the name of Noah who was serving me. Noah was fantastic. He was friendly and fun and he was engaging with me, and I had so much fun buying a cup of coffee, I actually think I gave a 100 percent tip, right? He was wonderful.”

Employee Satisfaction

“So, as is my nature, I asked Noah, ‘Do you like your job?’ And without skipping a beat, Noah says, ‘I love my job.’ And so I followed up. I said, ‘What is it that the Four Seasons is doing that would make you say to me, “I

Employee Experience: Four Seasons vs. Caesar’s Palace

“He said not just my manager, any manager. And then he said something magical. He says, ‘I also work at Caesars Palace, and at Caesar’s Palace, the managers are trying to make sure we’re doing everything right. They catch us when we do things wrong.’ He says, ‘When I go to work there, I like to keep my head under the radar and just get through the day so I can get my paycheck.’ He says, ‘Here at the Four Seasons, I feel I can be myself, same person, entirely different experience from the customer who will engage with Noah.'”

Leadership’s Influence on Environment

“So we in leadership are always criticizing the people. We’re always saying, ‘We’ve got to get the right people on board. I’ve got to fill my team with the right people.’ But the reality is it’s not the people, it’s the leadership. If we create the right environment, we will get people like Noah at the Four Seasons. If we create the wrong environment, we will get people like Noah at Caesar’s Palace. It’s not the people. And yet, we’re so quick to hire and fire. You can’t hire and fire your children. If your kids are struggling, we don’t say, ‘You got a C at school, you’re up for adoption.’ So why is it that when somebody has performance problems at work, why is it that our instinct is to say, ‘You’re out’? We do not practice empathy.”

Lack of Empathy in Business World

“What does empathy look like? Here’s the lack of empathy. This is normal in our business world. You walk into someone’s office, someone walks into our office and says, ‘Your numbers have been down for the third quarter in a row. You have to pick up your numbers, otherwise I can’t guarantee what the future will look like.’ How inspired do you think that person is to come to work the next day?”

Practicing Empathy

“Here’s what empathy looks like. You walk into someone’s office, someone walks into your office and says, ‘Your numbers are down for the third quarter in a row. Are you okay? I’m worried about you. What’s going on?’ We all have performance issues. Maybe someone’s kid is sick, maybe they’re having problems in their marriage, maybe one of their parents is dying. We don’t know what’s going on in their lives, and of course, it will affect performance at work. Empathy is being concerned about the human being, not just their output. And we have to practice empathy.”

Empathy Towards Millennials

“And one of the groups that we are pretty bad at practicing empathy with is our young Millennials. So let me show you what empathy looks like. Listening to understand, trying to understand someone’s point of view and disposition. And a hundred percent of the talks that I give, the meetings that I have, invariably someone will raise their hand and ask about the Millennial problem.”

Understanding Millennials

“Apparently, this young generation is unbeatable. Apparently, they have confounded every single company in every single industry. And so now it’s at the point where companies have given up and are now just asking Millennials, ‘What do you want?’ And so they say, ‘We want free food and bean bags.’ And so now every company has free food and bean bags. And guess what? Nothing has changed.”

Practicing Empathy with Millennials

“So what I thought we would do, what I thought I would do, is show you what empathy looks like. How do we practice empathy with someone we don’t understand? How do we practice empathy with an organization or a group that we’re struggling with, right? So we have to understand that it breaks down to four things. I’ve broken it down into parenting, technology, impatience, and environment.”

Impact of Parenting on Millennials

“Let’s talk about parenting first. Too many Millennials have grown up subject to what has been described as a failed parenting strategy. Too many of them were told as they were growing up that they were special, that they can have whatever they want just because they want it. They got medals for coming in last, they got participation medals, right? And the science on this is already good. We know that it devalues the feeling that somebody who works hard and comes in first place. And it actually makes the person who comes in last embarrassed because they know they don’t deserve it. So it actually makes them feel worse. It actually doesn’t help.”

Impact of Technology

“There are a lot of kids who got into honors classes not because they deserved it, but because their parents complained. And they got A’s, not because they earned them, but because the teachers didn’t want to deal with the parents, right? Then those kids graduate, no good skills, and they start a job. And in an instant, they find out that they’re not special, that you don’t get anything just because you want it, you get nothing for coming in last, and your parents cannot help you get a promotion. And in an instant, their entire self-image is completely shattered. In an instance, the way they view themselves has completely changed, turned on its.”

Impact of Modern World on Self-Esteem

“And so what you find is that there’s an entire generation growing up with lower self-esteem than previous generations. Remember, they have grown up in an Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat world in which they are very, very good at putting filters on everything. They’re very, very good at curating how they want to be seen. And we think they’re full of confidence. They seem to have all the answers. They seem to be telling us what to do. At the end of the day, it’s just not there. It’s just not true. Their confidence is a lot weaker than before. They don’t know where they’re coming from, they don’t know where they’re going, they’re unsure of themselves, and they lack the courage to ask.”

Impact of Technology on Dopamine Release

“We say things like, ‘My door is always open,’ assuming that they have the courage to walk through the door. Then we add in technology. There’s a chemical in our body called dopamine. Dopamine is responsible for the feelings we get when we find something we’re looking for or we accomplish something we set out to accomplish. You know that great feeling you get when you cross something off your to-do list, when you win the game, when you hit the target, right? When the client gets the promotion, whatever it is, that elation, finding your keys, that elation comes from a chemical in our body called dopamine.”

Dopamine and Addiction

“Now, other substances, other things that release dopamine, include alcohol, nicotine, gambling. They go, that’s what makes us feel good when we engage with those things, and it’s the root of a lot of addiction. In fact, almost every alcoholic on the planet discovered alcohol when they were teenagers. You see, when we’re very, very young, the only approval we need is approval from our parents. And then as we go through adolescence, we now crave the approval of our peers. Very frustrating for our parents, very important for us. It allows us to acculturate outside of our immediate families into the larger tribe, very, very important, right?”

Impact of Social Media on Dopamine Release

“It’s a time of high stress and high anxiety, and we’re supposed to learn to rely on our friends. Some people, quite by accident, discover alcohol and the numbing effects of dopamine to help them cope with the stress. And that becomes hardwired, and then for the rest of their lives, when they suffer some kind of extreme stress, they don’t turn to a person, they turn to the bottle. Now, we also know that dopamine is released with cell phones and social media. So that bing, buzz, that flashing beep that we get from our phones that feels so good, it releases dopamine.”

Addiction to Social Media

“We like getting it. Yes, we all hate all the emails, but we love the bing, right? We’ve all been in this position. You know, you’re feeling a little bit down, you’re feeling a little bit sorry, maybe feeling a little bit sad. So what do we do? We send out ten texts to ten friends: ‘Hi, hi, hi, hi, hi.’ And we hope that they write back because it feels good, right? So now we have a young generation with basically unfettered access to social media and cell phones. We have age restrictions on alcohol, we have age restrictions on smoking, and we have age restrictions on gambling. We have no age restrictions on this other dopamine-producing device called social media or cell phones.”

Impact of Phone Usage on Relationships

“It’s the equivalent of throwing open the liquor cabinet and telling our young adolescents, ‘I know this is a stressful time, try the vodka, it’ll get you through these hard times.’ That’s basically what we’re doing. And so what’s happening is, huh, it’s becoming hardwired where our young generation isn’t learning the coping skills and coping mechanisms to turn to another human being when they’re struggling or stressed. They’re turning to social media or their cell phones. Their self-worth sometimes becomes wrapped up in how many likes they get. They obsessively check how many likes, and actually will get depressed if they don’t get any.”

Impact of Phone Usage on Interaction

“You see them going out with their friends, and instead of connecting with their friends, they will simply sit and talk on the phone. Let me show you something that’s really powerful. Can I borrow your phone, please? There’s one right there in between you. Just let me borrow that for a sec. I’m asking you to give me somebody else’s phone. You don’t have to turn it on, I just need it. Thank you. So let me show you the subconscious power of this device. What if I were to hold my phone while I’m giving this presentation? I’m not checking it, it’s not buzzing, it’s not beeping, I’m simply holding it. Do you feel like you’re the most important thing to me right now? No, you do not.”

Importance of Phone Etiquette

“And this is an artificial environment. Now think about how often this phone is out while we’re talking to other people. ‘Hey boss, can I talk to you?’ ‘Sure, what’s on your mind?’ as opposed to ‘Sure, what’s on your mind?’ We go out for dinner or lunch with our family and our friends, we have meetings and we put the phone on the table, which sends a subconscious message to everybody else in the room that this is not that important to me, you’re not that important to me.”

Conclusion: Addressing Phone Usage

“And by the way, putting your phone upside down is not more polite. This is. This is my favorite one where the phone rings in the middle of dinner, in the middle of lunch, in the middle of a meeting, and somebody goes, ‘I’m not gonna answer it.’ ‘Oh my god, it’s so magnanimous, right? Thank you, right?’ Put it away, keep it away, because what it does is it actually hurts our ability to relate to each other. Now, you look at young kids these days, they’re on them all the time. I don’t blame them, it is addiction. We yell and scream at them, but we’re like yelling and screaming at an alcoholic. It doesn’t help the fact that it’s a chemical addiction, right?”

Social Isolation and Mental Health Impact

Superficial, right, that their friends they know would cancel on them if they get a better plan that they wouldn’t really know who to talk to if they get depressed, and maybe they’ll turn to an online support group, which is not a real thing, it’s not human, right? And we’ve seen the impact of this. We’re starting to see rises of depression in this generation, we’re starting to see a rise of suicide in this generation, we’re starting to see a rise of accidental death due to drug overdose from this generation. Universities are currently dealing with an epidemic that they’ve never dealt with before, which is the number of kids requesting leaves of absence due to depression. Right now, those are all extreme examples. The less extreme and more likely example is that someone will go through life just never really finding joy or fulfillment. And everything’s just fine. “How’s your job?” “That’s fine.” “How are your friends?” “You know, they’re fine.” But no joy. Because you just cannot, because joy fulfillment comes from this, it comes from human interaction. We are social animals, and we need it, and we have to learn to rely on our friends. And that skill is desperately lacking.

Impatience and Instant Gratification

So you add in the next one, impatience. This generation is often accused of being entitled, and if you’ve worked with any of them before, sure seems that way. But I would argue that we’re misreading the tea leaves. They’re not entitled, they’re impatient. Again, let’s practice empathy. How did they grow up? They grew up in a world of instant gratification. You want to buy something, you go on Amazon, it shows up the next day. You want to watch a movie, you don’t check movie times, you just log on and download it whenever you want to watch it, stream it, right? You want to watch a TV show, you don’t wait week to week to week, just finish watching it over the weekend. In fact, if you want to get hold of somebody, you don’t leave a message on their machine and wait for hours for them to get the message and call you back, you just text them and they’ll get back to you literally instantaneously. Heck, if you want to go on a date, you don’t even have to be like, “Hey,” you just swipe right, you got a date. They never learned the skill set of, like, “What are you doing right?” You can have four dates in a night. In other words, everything comes instantaneously. They have falsely applied the instant gratification model to life fulfillment and career fulfillment. They want it all instantaneously. The problem is, life, relationships, career, are not destinations. Like, “Look, I found the job I love.” That’s not how it works. It’s not a scavenger hunt. “I’m looking for the job that will, no.” It doesn’t work that way. It’s a journey. It’s a… it’s a… it’s a… it’s the same with love. It’s like, “I found love.” No, you didn’t. You work hard every single day to stay in love. It’s a journey. It’s as if they’re standing at the foot of a mountain, they know exactly what they want, they can see the summit, what they don’t see is the mountain. I talked to some recent college grads who are in their entry-level jobs on a regular basis, and I’ll ask them things like, “How’s it going?” And they’ll say, “Yeah, I think I’m gonna quit.” I’m like, “Why?” They’re like, “I’m not making an impact.” I’m like, “You know you’ve been here eight months, right?” And this is the problem. They see it as destination, “I’m not making an impact,” I hear it all the time, but they don’t even know what that means. Impact, yes, we all want to make an impact. What kind of impact? What do you want to do, when, how do you want to contribute to the world? It’s become generic and abstract, but the problem is, is they’re wafting around, they’re looking for the… the right… they’ll go from job to job to job, hoping that the next one sticks, they go from relationship to relationship hoping that the next one is the love that they’ve been looking for. They don’t know how to ask for help, and that makes them feel even worse because they can’t find the thing that they’re looking for. Maybe it’s me. So it’s an insecure generation that doesn’t have coping mechanisms, that wants everything resolved and resolved now. “I haven’t thought, let me just send a text,” as opposed to, “Let me wait an hour when I’m done with lunch with you, and then I’ll send my text,” for example.

Lack of Psychological Safety in Corporate Environments

Long you’ve worked here, if we miss our numbers and you happen to fall on the wrong side of the spreadsheet, I’m sorry, we cannot guarantee employment. In other words, we come to work every day afraid, and we’re asking our youngest generation to work in environments where how would any of us ever stand up and admit, “I made a mistake”? We’re constantly being told, “You have to be vulnerable, leaders are vulnerable.” What does that even mean? It doesn’t mean you walk around crying, “I’m vulnerable.” Right? No, what vulnerability means is you create an environment in which someone feels safe enough to raise their hand and say, “I don’t know what I’m doing. You’ve given me a job, and I haven’t been trained to do it. I need help. I made a mistake. I screwed something up. I’m scared. I’m worried.” All of these things no one would ever admit inside a company because it puts a target on your head in case there’s another round. And so we keep it to ourselves. And how can a company ever do well if nobody’s ever willing to admit they made a mistake, that they’re scared, or they don’t know what they’re doing? And so we’ve literally created cultures in which every single day, everybody comes to work and lies, hides, and fakes. And we’re asking our youngest generation to work and succeed and find themselves and build their confidence and overcome their addiction to technology and build strong relationships at work. We’re asking them to do this in these environments we’ve created. We keep saying to them, “You’re the future leaders.” We’re the leaders now, we’re in control. What are we doing? This is what empathy means. It means if there’s an entire generation struggling, maybe it’s not them. It’s like, you know, the only thing that I that the common factor in all my failed relationships is me. Same thing. “Well, we just can’t get the right act or, you know, the right performance out of our people.” Maybe it’s you, right? It’s not a generation, it’s not them. They’re not difficult or hard to understand. They’re human beings like the rest of us trying to find their way, trying to work in a place where they feel that someone cares about them as a human being. By the way, that’s what we all want. In other words, it’s not even generational. It’s all of us. This is the practice of empathy, that if we’re struggling to communicate to someone, if we’re struggling to help someone be at their natural best…

Shifting Perspectives and Infinite Games

I’m tired of people saying to me, “How do I get the best out of my people?” Really, that’s what you want? They’re like a towel, just wring them? How can I get the most out of them? No, how do I help my people be at their natural best? We’re not asking these questions. We are not practicing empathy. We have to start by practicing empathy and relate to what they may be going through, and it will profoundly change the decisions we make. It will profoundly change the way we see the world. Someone’s driving to work, you’re driving to work, and someone wants to cut into your lane. What do you do? Pull your car up? Would you let them in? Most of us pull our cars up and go like this, “You wait your turn.” Now, let’s practice empathy. I don’t know, maybe they’ve been out of work for six months, maybe they had trouble getting the kids out to school this morning, and now they’re running late for a really important interview, and they just have to get to this interview and they’re gonna cut into our lane. Or maybe they’re just a bastard, I don’t know. But that’s the point, we don’t know. We don’t know. And the practice of empathy will say, “I’ll let them in, and I’ll arrive to work one car length late.” Right? We don’t always have to be right, we don’t always have to be in charge, we don’t have to be the one who succeeds. It’s not about winning or losing. And that’s where I go to the second point, after empathy comes perspective, where it’s not about winning or losing. In game theory, there are two kinds of games, there are finite games and there are infinite games. And this is how you’re going to change your perspective, right? A finite game is defined as known players, fixed rules, and an agreed-upon objective. Baseball, for example, we know the rules, we all agree to the rules, and whoever has more runs at the end of nine innings is the winner, and the game is over. No one ever says, “If we can just play two more innings, I know we can come back.” Doesn’t work that way. The game is over, right? That’s a finite game. Then you have an infinite game. Infinite games are defined as known and unknown players, the rules are changeable, and the objective is to keep the game in play, to perpetuate the game. When you pit a finite player versus a finite player, the system is stable. Baseball is stable, right? When you pit an infinite player versus an infinite player, this system is also stable, like the Cold War, for example, because there cannot be a winner and a loser, there are no winners and losers in an infinite game. It doesn’t exist because there are no winners or losers, what ends up happening in the infinite contest is players drop out when they run out of the will or the resources to play. But there’s no winners or losers. Problems arise when you pit a finite player versus an infinite player, because if a finite player is playing to win and an infinite player is playing to keep the game going, right, this is what happened to us in Vietnam. We were playing to win, and the Vietnamese were fighting for their lives. We were the ones who got stuck in a quagmire. This is the Soviet Union in Afghanistan, they were trying to beat the Mujahideen, and the Mujahideen would fight for as long as is necessary, quagmire. Now, let’s look at business. The game of business has pre-existed or has existed long before every single company that exists on this planet today, and it will outlast every single company that exists on this planet today. There’s no winning the game of business, and the reason is because we haven’t agreed to the rules. I get such a kick out of this, you realize how many companies actually

Misunderstanding the Game and Finite vs Infinite Games

Don’t know the game they’re in, right? Listen to the language of the companies use. “We’re trying to beat our competition, we’re trying to be number one.” Did you know that we were ranked number one? Look at the listing. Based on what criteria? Revenues, profits, market share, square footage, number of employees? Based on what time frame? A quarter, a year, five years, ten years, twenty years, fifty years, a hundred years? I haven’t agreed to those standards. How can you declare yourself the winner? How can you declare yourself number one when no one else in the game has agreed to the rules? It’s arbitrary. There is no winning because there’s no end. In other words, companies are playing finite games. Listen to their language, they’re trying to beat their competition. What does that even mean? It’s the leaders and the companies that understand the game that they’re in and organize their resources and their decision-making around the infinite contest that outlast and frustrate their competition. All the companies that we’ve referred to as the exceptions, Southwest Airlines, Apple computers, Harley-Davidson, they’re the exception? No, they’re playing the infinite contest. They frustrate their competition is what happens. That’s what happens because they’re playing to win. Jim Senegal, the founder of Costco, which is the only real company that gives Walmart a run for its money, he says, “Public companies are looking to succeed for the quarter, says we’re looking for the next 50 years.” You can hear him. He’s playing the infinite contest. I spoke at a Leadership Summit for Microsoft. I also spoke at a Leadership Summit for Apple. Now, at the Microsoft summit, I would say 70% of the executives, and this was under the Steve Ballmer days, I would say about 70% of the executives spent about 70% of their presentations talking about how to beat Apple. At the Apple Summit, a hundred percent of the executives spent a hundred percent of their presentations talking about how to help teachers teach and how to help students learn. One was obsessed with their competition, the other one was obsessed with where they’re going. So at the end of my presentation at Microsoft, they gave me a gift. They gave me the new Zune, which was the competitor to the iPod touch when it was a thing, right? And I have to tell you, this piece of technology was spectacular. It was beautiful, the user interface was incredible, the design was amazing, it was intuitive. It was one of the most beautiful, elegant pieces of technology I’d ever seen, right? Now, they didn’t work with iTunes, which is an entirely different problem. I couldn’t use it, but that’s something else. I’m sitting in the back of a taxi with a senior Apple executive, sort of employee number twelve kind of guy, and I decide to stir the pot and I turned him. I say, “You know, I spoke at a Microsoft summit and they gave me their new Zune and I have to tell you, it is so much better than your iPod touch.” And he turned to me and said, “I have no doubt. Conversation over.” Because the infinite player isn’t playing to be number one every day with every product, they’re playing to outlast the competition. If I had said to Microsoft, “Oh, I’ve got the new iPod touch, it’s so much better than your new Zune,” there would have been, “Can we see it? What does it do? How? We have to see it?” Because one is obsessed with their competition, the other is obsessed with why they do what they do, the other is obsessed with where they’re going. And the reason Apple frustrates their competition is because, secretly, they’re not even competing against them. They’re competing against themselves. And they understand that sometimes you’re a little bit ahead, and sometimes you’re a little bit behind, and sometimes your product is better, and sometimes you’re not. But if you wake up every single morning and compete against yourself, how do I make our products better than they were yesterday? How do I take care of our customers better than we did yesterday? How do we advance our cause more efficiently, more productively than we did yesterday? How do we find new solutions to advance our calling, our cause, our purpose, our belief, our why every single day? What you’ll find is, over time, you will probably be ahead more often. Those who play the infinite game understand it’s not about the battle, it’s about the war. And they don’t play to win every day, and they frustrate their competition until their competition drops out of the game. Every single bankruptcy, almost every merger and acquisition is basically a company saying, “We no longer have the will or the resources to continue to play, and we have no choice but to either drop out of the game or merge our resources with another player so that we can stay in the game.” That’s what that is. And you can think about the number of bankruptcies and mergers and acquisitions. It’s kind of proof that most companies don’t even know the game they’re in. You want to be a great leader? Start with empathy. You want to be a great leader? Change your perspective and play the game you’re actually playing. Thank you very much.

Post/Page #60453
Eric Collin

Eric Collin

Eric is a lifelong entrepreneur who has been his own boss for virtually his entire professional journey. He has built a successful career on his own drive and entrepreneurial determination. With experience across various industries, such as construction and internet marketing, Eric has thrived as a tech-savvy individual, designer, marketer, super affiliate, and product creator. Passionate about online marketing, he is dedicated to sharing his knowledge and helping others increase their income in the digital realm.

Comentarios

0 0 calificaciones
Article Rating
Suscribirse
Notificación de
guest
0 Comments
Comentarios internos
ver todos los comentarios

About EduExpres

Harness the power of education and transform your life with EduExpres! Our comprehensive website is the ultimate resource for those seeking practical solutions to life’s challenges. Whether you’re looking to learn how to improve your financial situation, develop new skills, or enrich your personal growth, EduExpres has everything you need. With our user-friendly platform, available in ten different languages, we ensure that everyone has access to our transformative knowledge. Plus, with our unique affiliate program, you have the opportunity to earn money from the comfort of your home!

Empower yourself and let EduExpres be your guide to a brighter future.

Start your journey today and discover your true potential!

Recent Articles

0
Me encantaría saber qué opinas... :)x