How To Deal With A CRISIS: 3 Phases

Intro

Phase three is either forced upon you or you choose it, and you say, “you know what, I get it. I need to produce, I need to move, I need to make things happen, I need to find a more fulfilling expression of the best of who I am.” But what really matters now is productivity, progress, disruption to progression. People say, “I lost my motivation.” I said, “no, you didn’t lose your motivation. You lost your focus on the things that matter the most. When you focus on those, motivation comes back.” Today, I’d love to talk about the three phases, the three phases of crisis and how you move through them. And this is important because so many people are still stuck in Phase One or in Phase Two. You had this huge disruption in your life, but you haven’t had the progression that comes from it. But as you all know, that old saying in personal development, you don’t get the progression without the disruption. Some of you made a decision today, and it’s like it feels like disruption, it feels like scary, it feels like enthusiasm, you’re not sure, it’s something new. But who’s ready for something new in your lives right now? I mean, I think the whole world’s ready for something new, to move on, to grow, to build, to serve, to produce again. But that is not easy. But I always say in personal development, it’s not about easy. Doesn’t matter, is it easy or is it hard? The question is, is it required? And I want to talk to you about that in these three phases today because if you get these three phases, and if anything in the short amount of time I have with you, if I can move you into Phase Three, I know you’ll be more motivated, more fulfilled, more happy, more wealthy, and more on your game at this stage of your life.

Phase 1: Shock Safety

Phase one, when there’s a major disruption, a major crisis in life, what happens is Phase One, it’s like shock and safety, right? Something new comes in or disruption, life, and go, “uh, I don’t like that,” and resistance wells up in the body. You want to fight to protect the old world. You get scared and fearful, so you grab, you hoard, you protect, you go into the cave. That’s Phase One. It’s like, okay, pandemic happens, what happens? Shut it down, lockdown, scared, fear, hoard the toilet paper. It’s like, “we, you like that’s that Phase One.” That’s what people do. It’s like, “I don’t like this, and I hate this change, I don’t want this change, I’m scared of this change,” and they shut down, they lock down, they protect. And by the way, that’s not bad. That’s human nature. That’s how we protect ourselves. But some people stay there forever, forever. And that’s where often your value of security or safety or having the total certainty of how things are supposed to go and that they’ll be perfect, your perfectionism often lives there because you’re scared to step out into something that is more new or uncomfortable. And the good news is the world rattles you when you’re in Phase One. At some point, you don’t get to stay there because the world just keeps changing, and now you’re forced to move into Phase Two.

Phase 2: Coping

Phase two is now you’ve got to deal with it. Phase two is all about coping with the new world, coping, like finding your way in it. This is where you start really focusing on stress management or well-being. Who saw wellness become the biggest topic ever in the last year and a half? That’s ’cause the world was in Phase Two. The world’s like, “oh my God, everything’s changed, it’s different.” Well-being, wellness, mental health, the biggest conversations those topics have ever had in the last year and a half because we’re in Phase Two. It’s like, “how do I deal with this new world? It’s stressful, I’m scared, I don’t know what to do. I know I need to move forward, I need to find my way.” And what happens is you go into transition in Phase Two. Transition is like, who am I in this new world and how do I just, I got to figure out the Zoom, I got to figure out the email, I got to figure out the marketing, and you start to figure things out and deal. But often in that, there’s a lot of noise, there’s a lot of distraction, and there’s not always progression because you’re figuring things out and there’s so much to do. And a lot of people stay stuck in Phase Two because they don’t get the map, they don’t get the plan, they don’t follow the leaders, they don’t find that access point that already has results. And so they just keep staying, they’re just trying too many things. And this was me at the beginning of my career. I was that guy who I just, I tried everything. So I’d say now when my clients say that, “I’ve tried everything, Brendan,” I go, “show me the list, give me the Excel spreadsheet.” They’re like, “what do you mean?” I go, “if you tried everything, surely you’ve got an Excel spreadsheet somewhere of all of the mutually exclusive items that you have tried and checked off and tracked the results of, right?” But usually what it means is people tried one or two things in Phase Two. And in Phase Two, because it’s about stress management, what happens for us is we become discouraged. We think we’ve tried a lot of things, we can’t find our way, we’re seeing other people succeed more. So in Phase Two, even though you’re trying, you just feel discouraged. Like Phase One is shut down, fear, need safety, security. Phase Two is you’re kind of trying, you’re kind of out there, but you feel discouraged. And in your stomach, you’re like, “I don’t know if I’m going to make this.” And the discouragement leads to more self-doubt, leads to exhaustion, leads to overwhelm, and you stop.

Intro

Phase three is either forced upon you or you choose it and you say, “you know what, I get it. I need to produce, I need to move, I need to make things happen. I need to find a more fulfilling expression of the best of who I am.” But what really matters now is productivity, progress, disruption to progression. People say, “I lost my motivation.” I say, “no, you didn’t lose your motivation, you lost your focus on the things that matter the most. When you focus on those, motivation comes back.”

Today, I’d love to talk about the three phases of Crisis and how you move through them. This is important because so many people are still stuck in Phase One or in Phase Two. You had this huge disruption in your life, but you haven’t had the progression that comes from it. But as you all know, that old saying in personal development, you don’t get the progression without the disruption. Some of you made a decision today and it feels like disruption, it feels scary, it feels like enthusiasm. You’re not sure if it’s something new, but who’s ready for something new in your lives right now? I mean, I think the whole world’s ready for something new, to move on, to grow, to build, to serve, to produce again. But that is not easy. But I always say in personal development, it’s not about easy. It doesn’t matter if it’s easy or hard. The question is, is it required? And I want to talk to you about that in these three phases today because if you get these three phases and if anything in the short amount of time I have with you, if I can move you into Phase Three, I know you’ll be more motivated, more fulfilled, more happy, more wealthy, and more on your game at this stage of your life.

Phase One: Shock Safety

When there’s a major disruption, a major crisis in life, what happens is Phase One. It’s like shock and safety, right? Something new comes in or disruption in life and you go, “I don’t like that.” And resistance wells up in the body. You want to fight to protect the old world. You get scared and fearful. So you grab, you hoard, you protect, you go into the cave. That’s Phase One. It’s like, okay, pandemic happens, what happens? Shut it down, lock down, scared, fear, hoard the toilet paper. It’s like, “I don’t like that, and I hate this change. I don’t want this change. I’m scared of this change.” And they shut down, they lock down, they protect. And by the way, that’s not bad. That’s human nature. That’s how we protect ourselves. But some people stay there, forever. And that’s where often your value of security or safety or having the total certainty of how things are supposed to go and that they’ll be perfect, your perfectionism often lives there because you’re scared to step out into something that is more new or uncomfortable. And the good news is the world rattles you when you’re in Phase One. At some point, you don’t get to stay there because the world just keeps changing. And now you’re forced to move into Phase Two.

Phase Two: Coping

Phase Two is now you got to deal with it. Phase Two is all about coping with the new world, coping, like finding your way in it. This is where you start really focusing on stress management or well-being. Who saw wellness become the biggest topic ever in the last year and a half? That’s because the world was in Phase Two. The world’s like, “Oh my God, everything’s changed. It’s different. Well-being, wellness, mental health, the biggest conversations those topics have ever had in the last year and a half because we’re in Phase Two. It’s like, how do I deal with this new world? It’s stressful. I’m scared. I don’t know what to do. I know I need to move forward. I need to find my way.” And what happens is you go into transition in Phase Two. Transition is like, “Who am I in this new world? And how do I just, I got to figure out the Zoom. I got to figure out the email. I got to figure out the marketing.” And you start to figure things out and deal. But often in that, there’s a lot of noise, there’s a lot of distraction, and there’s not always progression because you’re figuring things out. And there’s so much to do. And a lot of people stay stuck in Phase Two because they don’t get the map, they don’t get the plan, they don’t follow the leaders, they don’t find that access point that already has results. And so they just keep staying there, they’re just trying too many things. And this was me at the beginning of my career. I was that guy who, I just, I tried everything. So I’d say now when my clients say that, “I’ve tried everything, Brendan,” I go, “Show me the list. Give me the Excel spreadsheet.” They go, “What do you mean?” I go, “If you tried everything, surely you’ve got an Excel spreadsheet somewhere of all of the mutually exclusive items that you have tried and checked off and tracked the results of, right?” But usually what it means is people tried one or two things in Phase Two. And in Phase Two, because it’s about stress management, what happens for us is we become discouraged. We think we’ve tried a lot of things, we can’t find our way. We’re seeing other people succeed more. So in Phase Two, even though you’re trying, you just feel discouraged. Like Phase One is shut down, fear, need safety, security. Phase Two is you’re kind of trying, you’re kind of out there, but you feel discouraged. And in your stomach, you’re like, “I don’t know if I’m going to make this.” And the discouragement leads to more self-doubt, leads to exhaustion, leads to overwhelm, and you stop.

And that’s the challenge. And then what happens is you start going, “Why am I going through this?” And the ego erupts and says, “Why should I have to go through this? Why do I have to deal with this? This is so unfair. Why am I going through this?” Well, why are you going through this? You’re going through this to be prepared. Why did you lose that? Why did you struggle there? Why did the cancer happen but you survived? Why? Why are you here? You’re here because you’ve been being prepared in Phase Two. You’ve been being prepared to lead with empathy. You’ve been being prepared to understand other people. You’ve been being prepared to find your strengths. You’ve been being prepared to finally set some boundaries in your life. You’ve been being prepared for more courage because you know what doesn’t work, Phase One and Phase Two. And you’re like, “I know I need something new. I need a new way.” And what happens in Phase Three, it goes from, “Oh, I’m kind of protecting myself,” or, “Oh, you know, I’m trying to find my peace,” or, “I

need progress in my life right now,” because in Phase Three, the separation happens. Winners, losers, people who stay Phase One and Phase Two, and some people just go, “I get it. I need to produce. I need to move. I need to make things happen. I need to find a more fulfilling expression of the best of who I am.” Phase Three is either forced upon you or you choose it, and you say, “You know what? I need to find that thing that’s more true of who I am.” But what really matters now is productivity, achievement, movement, progress, disruption to progression.

And now it’s inspiring. People say, “I lost my motivation.” I said, “No, you didn’t lose your motivation, you lost your focus on the things that matter the most. When you focus on those, motivation comes back.” And what happens for people is they forget how important that progress is, that progression phase. And that’s where we’re at. You’ve heard Tony talk about progress being happiness, but you also see it in the national world, you see it in the economy. When the economy is where it’s at right now, what matters in Phase Three? GDP, gross domestic product, productivity, movement, everybody showing up on their A-game to get it done. When all these companies lay off people, what do you got to do? Well, the people there who are left over, they got to stand up, be courageous, lead, pull the thing along, push it. And that’s where you’re at right now. If you’re going to make it this year, like things are going to shift. You’re in that transition of where am I, what am I doing right now? It’s like, you got to move, move. You got to make that commitment to actually get the progress, not talk about it, not get lost, not get confused. There’s a switch that happens in your brain. Goes, “Woo, Phase Three is here. And if I don’t go there, I’m stuck.”

The hardest question in personal development is often, if you keep doing what you’re already doing, will you be significantly and dramatically wealthier in five years? Will you be significantly and dramatically happier in five years? Will you be significantly and dramatically more in love or more fulfilled or more energized or more motivated or more feeling like life has so much meaning in five years? And when you’re in Phase Two, the answer is almost always no. Because it takes a courageous, simple step forward to change into Phase Three. You don’t have to worry, “Do you have the skill to communicate right now?” What you have to worry is, “Do you have a plan, no matter how small? You start, start something that matters, get in the game, get excited to do this, get excited to figure things out, get excited to be in motion, move into Phase Three, because you can’t stay stuck in Phase Two. Phase Three is productivity, it is motivation, it is progress, it is moving, it is trying new things to win in the new world, to build wealth for your family, to make things actually happen, not talk about it, be in the game, get in the game, doing the work, and be proud of that, because you were meant for something extraordinary. You just don’t know it when you’re in Phase One and Phase Two until you are in motion. It’s kind of like the world opens up these gates to people who get momentum, right? You get some momentum, boom, this new opportunity, boom, this. And all of a sudden, some new world opens. The clients are calling, they’re booking you. Like, where did this come from? Well, it came from momentum because the universe sees it. Some people when they knock on the door of opportunity, they’re surprised that work answers the door. But not you, you know there’s work, you know there’s challenge. But you want that in your life again because you know what? You didn’t lose motivation, you lost the edge of excellence that says, “I want to push into this. I want to try new things.” Don’t let me hype you up about it. Ask if it’s true. Ask if it’s true that something you want, more vibrancy, you want more fulfillment, you want more connection with other people, you want more wealth for your family. That becomes a point where you just say, “Enough is enough. This is the new world. Let’s go.” You deserve to experience extraordinary things in your life. And it begins with little, small decisions, one step at a time, getting a plan, faithfully executing, trying, and trying again, finding out your own way. And one day you’re talking to people, you’re serving people, you’re making it happen. The world opens up to you. The world is in Phase Three. Let’s go. The world is in Phase Three. Catch up. The world is in Phase Three. Make your mark. This is that moment for you right now. You’re never going to get this back, this time where we get to serve at this level because it’s enough new that everybody is building and growing and doing great. Be part of that story. Not Phase One and Two, be part of that progress story right now for you and your family. When you do that, you will feel an extraordinary wave of motivation and aliveness that comes into your life that you didn’t even know was there because your highest self, your highest access point, it is in that service to something more than yourself. And this is what everybody here has been talking about who’s in this game with me. Ladies and gentlemen, let’s make this time. This is that time. This is your moment. Take the action. Thanks everybody for having me here today. I appreciate you all. Thank you, Dean and Tony for having me here. I appreciate you all, brother B-R-M, everybody, doocy, ladies and gentlemen, thank you. That was so good. Can you give us some love in the chat?